Robert Girardi (born November 18, 1961) is an American author, writing on the themes of mystery or detective fiction, and religion, like an American Graham Greene, and loser narrator, like Sam Lipsyte.

I think the world is much more of a place in which a man can be rescued by cows from pirates than it is this Raymond Carver world: "The man picked up a cup of coffee. He put it down. He knew there would be no coffee today."[referring to Daphnis and Chloe]

I'll always be slightly out of sync with my contemporaries. I've never felt fully American - despite valiant attempts, I cannot bring myself to enjoy pro football or shopping malls. At the same time, I'm certainly not European. Instead I'm something in between, a perennial expatriate, a refugee from the gray skys over France, from the screech of the train coming into the Gare St. Lazare, from the wind blowing cold off Mount Olympus through the cracks around our bathroom window.